By Agatha Christy Chandra & Jessica Vitriana
Truth is, hurt is an inevitable feeling after you found out that the college you have fancied since middle school has rejected your application. Long hours invested in maintaining good grades and rigorous volunteering activities seem to go to waste – the question of self-worth arises, and all too easily, it could pull you into an unconscious mind of feeling so small. However, the notion of an overnight success is one that is most frequently touted, but really, what it takes is a few wrong doors until you finally open your right one.
So when faced with failure, let’s get up instead of give up! The sun shines brighter with a positive mind so let’s set out for new plans. Here are some tips that try to cope with college rejections:
1. Allow yourself to grieve, but don’t take too long.
Yes, it’s understandable that there might be some tendency to put the blame on yourself. You start thinking about the things that you could have done to boost your chances of getting in (all the “what if’s?”). The feeling of envy towards others who are accepted might grow; your self-doubt gets bigger too, and you start questioning yourself and others: What exactly went wrong? Everything was according to plan, so what did I miss?
The answer to those questions - sometimes - might not be that clear either, and that’s okay. It is completely human to mourn for the moment, as it was something you’ve truly worked for. But remember, note to self: life goes on, and so will you! Don’t let the rejection hinder your way to finishing school and start focusing on the next thing you can do. Focus your energy into preparing for finals, mapping out the next best university plan, and spending time with people who provide support and encouragement. Remember: one failure does not lessen your chance to take hundreds of greater opportunities to come.
2. Reconsider the idea of the dream college.
From an outside perspective, it probably looks like your dream college has an immaculate picture - on top of the chart, highly regarded for its research, exquisite student bodies and successful alumni cloning machines. It is no wonder that you, among the plenty, grow to become obsessed with that particular institution. Your dream college might be a culmination of impressive stories from the campus tour you attended five years ago, or your vivid expectations on how cool the campus life is as seen on YouTube or internet search.
Although it is no old news that the name of the school is what people heighten, the reality is that your dream college might neither offer the most exquisite program nor an environment that would have suited your needs. Every university has distinguished excellence with its exceptions and might not come up to your expectations. Nevertheless, they present different experiences and provide limitless opportunities for their students. For an illustration, watch a Harvard student experience some of his hardest lessons in university and growth here.
So, the next question you would want to consider is: What university you’d like to get into, and how would your presence bring value to not only to the university - but to yourself as well?
3. Learn to realize that university doesn’t define the success of your career.
We’ve all heard the familiar line that says getting into the best college would guarantee you an equally best career. Although truthfully, in some cases, it is quite misleading to believe that attending top schools is the main single determinant to achieving the best future careers. The reality is every student journey matters and at the end of the day, they are the ones responsible for their own successes - not the university. With time, you will understand that college rejections will inspire you to grow into a better and mature person with values and attitude that are needed in many different fields of work.
If the idea of not going to your dream school is still unbearable, remember that there are three other actions you can try!
1. Try writing a letter of appeal
Sometimes, your application might not get 100% rejected straight away because the school considers you a weak candidate. Perhaps due to their low acceptance rate, they had to put you on the waiting list. In this situation, writing a letter of appeal to the school that waitlisted you can be something to consider.
But if you are not in this situation, you can check if admissions accept appeals from rejected applicants, because it may be worth the chance, especially for schools that may have more wiggle-room for waitlist applications. This could be the perfect time for you to prove to the admission officers what they might have missed out from your application, while they are still in the process of filling up their enrollment quotas.
2. Consider transferring
If you are a senior high school student who just got rejected from a dream school, you might want to consider attending community college for about two years, then try to apply again as a transfer student to your dream college. First, look out for an institution that offers transferable courses to your college destination. Don’t worry, even though transfer admission is sometimes more competitive due to more transfer applicants competing for seats compared to freshman applicants, community colleges give you the chance to improve your grades and give you the room to participate more in activities, such as summer internships or volunteering to improve parts of your profile that are still lacking. This way can potentially increase your chance to get accepted to your dream college!
3. Consider taking a gap year
So we’ve all been in that position - time has passed and new plans are in the process, but you still can’t move on from the college of your dreams. In this situation, if you are still persistent with your college options and still have the desire to reapply after being rejected, a gap year can be a solution. Taking a year off after high school can be beneficial in a sense of personal improvement and mental nourishment.
Taking a gap year will also allow you to get to know yourself better, figure out what you want to do in an academic sense, enrich yourself with experiences, and evaluate whether or not pursuing your college after rejection is still worth it. As you take your gap year, you can fill your time with activities to hone your skills and talents, take classes, volunteer and intern. These are useful to strengthen your resume, especially for later when you start seeking jobs after you graduate from college.
4. But eventually, make peace with your back up.
Opportunities are different in every college. Think about the experience you could have with the other options. Do research on all the schools that you have chosen, but still try to have some excitement for the other schools while preparing for the unknown. Do some extra research on other universities or majors that might spark your interest and is in line with what you’re truly best at. All in all, once you decide to enter the college that accepted you, the idea of your initial preference would eventually fade away as you are progressively urged to focus on your new student life.
Bottom Line: The finer things keep shining through! Be confident and believe that either option should lead you somewhere good. Enjoy where you end up going and experience what the university has to offer for the next four years. Nonetheless, whether or not you choose to settle for the second or fifth university option, you will never find the same experience elsewhere and eventually make amends with your past ambitions. Wherever you go for higher education, it all comes back to how you want to cultivate yourself with the experiences. So let’s hope for the best of luck, and wherever you go, go with all your heart!
